Monkey sex
I'm sure you've heard the expression "monkey sex". What does it mean? This video should clear that up. Also, is sex better with a Brazilian? These
Australians seem to think so.
Praise the happy sailors
The subtitles may not be accurate, but at least they're funny.
Yes, I'm sitting, happy sailor,
Richard Gere, oh please stand down.
Poo on him, insults a builder
Arse! The joy of left hand love.
But we ate your poor corn salad,
As a bribe to help us screw.
From celestial crabs descending,
Pie for Maureen, round her shed.
Two expressos tempting us.
By her lawn shall sheep be dead.
All our strings and all out balls,
Of pure cod are fashion-ed.
How to feed 100 dogs
These dogs are so well behaved. Notice how they don't touch the food until they've been given the command.
How to get out of a car
Learn how to get out of the car without showing your hoo-hoo. I hope Britney Spears doesn't see this video.
Performance monitor
Is your machine running like a snail? Monitor your system's performance with perfmon. It comes with windows! To use it select "Start | Run..." and type "perfmon".
The three colored bars on the screen represent different parts of your machine. The yellow bar indicates how hard your memory is working. The blue bar indicates how hard your hard drive is working. The green bar indicates how hard your processor is working. Short peaks in performance are normal but if any one of the bars reaches 100% and stays there for an extended length of time, then you have problem. If this happens to you, try to identify the source of the problem. Does it occur when you run a particular program? Does it occur when you do something specific in that program? Does it occur every time? It might be helpful to reboot your machine so that you can eliminate variables introduced since the last time the machine was started. You might want to close down other applications so they don't cloud the results. Eliminate the extraneous variables and narrow the problem down to a consistently reproducible series of events.