40 things in the life of a Portuguese Child
01.You have at least one relative who wore a black
dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.
02.You spent your entire childhood thinking what you
ate for lunch was pronounced "sanweesha."
03.Your family dog understood Portuguese.
04. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent
visiting your grandparents and extended family.
05. You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people
fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family
cookout.
06.You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends
you eat three meals a day, not seven.
07.You thought killing the pig each year and having
torressmos, morcella, linguica and a hanging dead pig from the
ceiling was absolutely normal.
08.You ate sopa de covos for dinner at least three times a
week, and every Sunday.
09.You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a
fixed price and that the price of everything was
negotiable through haggling.
10.You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of
seven.
11.You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.
12.You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled
to the ankles.
13.Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.
14.You were surprised to find out that wine was
actually sold in stores.
15.You thought that everyone made their own bread.
16.You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday
for that matter.
17.You ate your salad after the main course.
18.You thought Catholic was the only religion in the
world.
19. Your were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon
or broom.
20.You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk
of bread in your left hand.
21.You can understand Portuguese but you can't speak it.
22.You have at least one relative who came over on the
boat.
23.All of your uncles fled to America to not go to the
war in Angola or they went to the war in Angola.
24.You have at least six male relatives named Tony,
Frank, Joe or Louie.
25.You have relatives who aren't really your
relatives.
26.You have relatives you don't speak to.
27.You drank wine before you were a teenager.
28.You were pinched under the arm in church by your mother.
29.You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have
one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a
vegetable growing, or a grape vine covering it.
30.Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as
sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on
plastic.
31.You thought that talking loud was normal.
32.You thought sugared almonds were
common at all weddings.
33.You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and
money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
34.Your mother is overly protective of the males in
the family no matter what their age.
35. There was a crucifix in every room of the house,
36.You couldn't date a boy without getting approval
from your father. (oh, and he has to be Portuguese)
37.You called any pasta "spaghetti".
38.You dreaded taking out your lunch at school
39. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going
out for a cup of coffee over Tia's house.
40 Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss
and accident was attributed to the fact that you
didn't eat something.