Portuguese terrorists
WHY PORTUGUESE PEOPLE CAN'T BE TERRORISTS............
1. 8:45 am is too early for us to be up.
2. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.
3. Pretty people on the plane distract us.
4. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
5. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
6. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
7. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
8. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
9. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doing it.
10. We would have put our country's flag reflector on the tail of the plane.
ARE YOU A PORTUGUESE? HOW CAN YOU TELL FOR SURE?
1) If you have ever been hit by a "Chinela" (Slipper) or "Fivela" (Belt Buckle) or wooden spoon.
2) If you grew up scared by something called "O Velho" (The old man)
3) If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.
4) If you light a candle to the Virgin Mary on the night before your big test.
5) If you use your chin to point something out.
6) If you constantly refer to cereal as "con flacs (Corn Flakes) or chirios (pronounced Shi-re-oj). (Cheerios)"
7) If your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner, even if it's a one bedroom apartment.
8) If you can dance foklorico or rancho without music.
9) If you use "mantega" (Butter) instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your ancas (Hips) are getting bigger.
10) If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some "Vic's vapor rub" all over your peito (Chest) and inside your nostrils.